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At 20 years old, fresh out of college and newly living on my own, one night changed the course of my life. One early evening after work, I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex where I had recently moved. I remember having a thought: drive around again before parking. I ignored it. After I turned off the car and gathered my things, a man suddenly appeared at my door. He pointed a gun at my head and told me to keep quiet. Fear flooded my body. I froze and did as

April is a month full of life for many. It’s spring. We celebrate Easter. We walk through the 40 days of Eastertide before Pentecost, where the Spirit of the Resurrected King is alive and active. Flowers bloom. Creation comes alive. New life is everywhere. But for a significant portion of the population, April is also a sobering month. It is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. For most of my life, I wanted nothing to do with that awareness. I didn’t want reminders of what had

As a survivor of sexual abuse, I have come to realize the importance of giving sacred space and time for grief work. As a man, I can look back on early years of my life and never recall any healthy conversations about the importance of grieving, not only over death, but all my losses, whatever they might be. One of the great losses of my life was when my innocence was damaged and taken from me and my trust in someone was manipulated and taken advantage of. Father Peter saw

Many survivors of sexual trauma shared with me the hurtful things people say and do, even in the church and within the family. Although not intentional, people don’t know what to do and say. Sexual trauma is an uncomfortable topic. Tip #1. Compassionate Listening Just listen. You don’t need a degree to offer compassionate listening. The temptation for many of us is to fix or advise. Or to avoid hearing someone’s pain. Sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic. Do not o

5. Practice Self-Compassion Self-Compassion is a gift you can offer yourself and is a part of the healing process. Survivors of sexual trauma tend to blame themselves for what happened. Over the years I have heard: “I shouldn’t have gone out with him.” “I shouldn’t have gone to the bar.” “I should have seen his true intentions.” “I should have fought back.” “I should have reported him.” “Shoulds” are like ingesting small amounts of poison daily. You feel awful. And slowl

1. Write Your Story. Read it Out Loud. 2. Find a safe person to read it to. Sharing it breaks the chains of shame. 3. Find a good therapist. Interview. 4. Find a support group. Important to know you are not alone. 5. Know the truth vs toxic shame 6. Practice Self-Compassion Daily 7. Practice Self-Care Daily 8. Spend time with God Daily Practices: God’s love each day and Meditation on Psalm 139 and scriptures. Here are some suggestions for

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I will blog once a week in April and May about statistics, manifestations, tips for survivors and those who accompany them, and true stories from guest bloggers. There is hope with God to overcome the effects of trauma and become the person you were created to be. You are not alone. Statistics and Manifestations Did you know that one in three women and one in six men will experience some kind of sexual assault in their lifetime? Sex

As I reflect on the gifts from God this year, one was a new home community. We are Christians from different traditions, different churches, who long for a like-minded community. The leadership rotates to create and lead a spiritual practice. After a brief teaching, we separate throughout the house and outside, to spend 20 minutes alone with God, reflecting, journaling, and praying. Then we come back together and share whatever is comfortable, from what came up during our

San Diego Safari Park Joy is more than just a feeling; it’s a deep-rooted attitude that all will work out for good for those who love God. As we explore the scriptures, joy can be found in many aspects of our lives. Whether it’s through worship, nature, community, or even trials, the Bible has beautiful verses that remind us to choose joy. “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” – John 15:11 Jesus is talking about how much H

The Holidays can be mixed blessings for people. Some may experience loneliness. Others may struggle with family drama. Health issues. Not enough money. Toxic relationships. These all can disturb our peace. Jesus told us we would have sufferings in this life. AND we can also have peace in the midst of it. The Apostle Paul tells us we can let go of our worries and anxious thoughts. How? By dwelling on what is true, beautiful, trustworthy, and expressing gratitude for what w

A definition of hope is “To cherish a desire with anticipation.” I cherish my family and community. I cherish my times with God at the beach. And I cherish serving Christ with my talents he has given me. I cherish traveling. For years, we took trips to Disneyland at Christmas time. My daughters anticipated going with excitement. I truly enjoyed it, too. Above is a picture of Small World all decked in lights. Gazing at the lights made the fifty-minute line seem like five m

G … Give thanks every day, including for all the small things in life. I was swimming in the ocean the other day, in my new full-length wetsuit. This was the first time in my life that I swam in our ocean here in San Diego in November. My new swim wet suit has opened a door for me. I felt a deep sense of gratitude to God for food and for my health. So many people are hungry, while others I know are suffering physically. Although there were a few surfers

The Flower Fields in Carlsbad, California Luke 7: 18-22, 28. 18 Then John’s disciples informed him about all these things. 19 So John called two of his disciples and sent them to ask the Lord, “Are You the One who was to come, or should we look for someone else?” 20 When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to ask, ‘Are You the One who was to come, or should we look for someone else?’ ” 21 At that very hour Jesus healed many people of their diseases

I was invited to write an article for a newsletter published by Center for Spiritual Development, a Ministry of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Orange in Orange, CA. The topic requested was a reflection on being the beloved of God. I would like to share it with you. God not only loves you, he delights in you! Scripture tells us that we are created in his image, knit together in the womb, fearfully and wonderfully made, and nothing can separate us from his love. Sadly, many p

A week before Not Alone Group started, five women signed up. I was feeling grateful and happy. Then two days later, two dropped and one...

Have you seen the movie The Sound of Metal? As a retired Audiologist, and now Spiritual Director, I could relate to this movie in...

Florida is full of natural springs that are crystal clear. Here I am at Kelly Park in Apopka, Florida, about 30 miles north of Orlando....

Today is my husband’s birthday. We have been married for 39 years. Through the peaceful still waters and challenging raging rapids, we...

I think the assassination of Charlie Kirk was evil. To be honest with you, I did not know who he was until this happened. Possibly...

I just watched the news that showed the survivors of Jeffrey Epstein. I had seen a Netflix documentary before about him and the evil he...