Many survivors of sexual trauma shared with me the hurtful things people say and do, even in the church and within the family. Although not intentional, people don’t know what to do and say. Sexual trauma is an uncomfortable topic.    Tip #1.     Compassionate Listening   Just listen.  You don’t need a degree to offer compassionate listening. The temptation for many of us is to fix or advise. Or to avoid hearing someone’s pain. Sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic. Do not offer advice or...

5.     Practice Self-Compassion Self-Compassion is a gift you can offer yourself and is a part of the healing process. Survivors of sexual trauma tend to blame themselves for what happened. Over the years I have heard: “I shouldn’t have gone out with him.” “I shouldn’t have gone to the bar.” “I should have seen his true intentions.” “I should have fought back.” “I should have reported him.” “Shoulds” are like ingesting small amounts of poison daily.  You feel awful. And slowly you will shut...

1.    Write Your Story. Read it Out Loud. 2.    Find a safe person to read it to.  Sharing it breaks the chains of shame. 3.    Find a good therapist. Interview. 4.    Find a support group. Important to know you are not alone. 5.    Know the truth vs toxic shame 6.    Practice Self-Compassion Daily 7.    Practice Self-Care Daily 8.    Spend time with God Daily      Practices:   God’s love each day and Meditation on Psalm 139 and scriptures.   Here are some suggestions for you as a...