Tip #2 Avoid Christian Platitudes

Have you ever shared something so painful only to have the person throw a scripture at you?

I love God deeply and his Word. There is a time and place for scripture. It may come across as fixing, giving advice, or moving them to the healing process too quickly. Instead, just listen with compassion.

Here are some Christian Platitudes that I and others have heard.

• “Just turn it over to God.”     

• “You don’t need a therapist. Jesus can heal you.”   

• “Do you think you were in some sexual sin, so this is why this happened to you?” 

• “God will take care of you.”

• “You just need to forgive and move on.”  

• “I hope you are praying for your parents.” 

• “Pray more.” 

• “It will be ok.”  (Don’t try to cheer them up).  

Joy, who was kidnapped and raped at gunpoint, heard someone say, “Well, he didn’t kill you.” She was grateful to be alive, and yet she felt she couldn’t share what was really going on inside. She also told me that someone asked her if she was involved in some sexual sin, causing this to happen to her. I can’t believe what people say sometimes! She felt somehow responsible for what happened to her. I assured her that the rape was not her fault.

Sayings such as, “It will be okay” or “God is in control” or “Just pray about it” don’t help the person, especially in the beginning.

People will turn to God when they are ready. Until then, be Jesus with skin on.