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Love Yourself, Inside and Out

Writer's picture: annerichardson58annerichardson58

I watched the movie “The Substance.”  Demi Moore plays a star named Elizabeth Sparkle who was noted for a hit show called “Pump It Up,” an aerobic workout for women.

As she turned 50, the ratings dropped thus being fired from the show. She felt devastated.

 

She came across ‘the substance’, an injection that created a younger version of herself. Without going into details, the theme centers around Hollywood female stars feeling “discarded” when they turn middle age. Youth is cherished. Youth gets the parts in the shows and movies. Youth is praised.

 

Her obsession with being young again led to her abusing the substance. This caused rapid aging into a grotesque-looking monster. And then finally to her death.

 

Sadly, she could not embrace who she was. A beautiful 50-year-old woman with much to offer and yet only the external appearance was validated.

 

This is not just for Hollywood women but for many women who struggle with self-worth being based on outer appearance.

 

Being comfortable in our bodies, in our skin, is an issue for women, especially here in California, where I live. And even more so for women who have had trauma.

 

When the body has been abused, we can struggle with body image. Mrs. Berger, who husband molested me and other little girls, took nude photographs of me in the bathtub. At ten years old. Without my permission. Then she showed me the photo, laughing, saying, “Look at your big, fat white butt!”  I carried that dreadful label for a long time. The culture and other people in my life made it worse. It wasn’t until much later that I made peace with my body.

 

I went to a seminar where a licensed therapist who specialized in eating disorders.  At one point, she looked us in the eyes and said, “Girls…when you dis your body, you dis God. He created you in his image.”  I was overwhelmed with conviction. She went on to tell us to go home and write an apology letter to God and to our body. So I want to share my letters with you.

 

Dear Body,

 

I am sorry for not seeing you as beautiful. And for not being content with you, my white butt. For years, I believed you were too big. Now I thank you for being such a soft cushion for me when I sit.

 

I apologize, my big nose. I remember the neighborhood teens teasing me about you. Mother asked me if I wanted a nose job and I said no. I am so grateful I didn’t change you, but I didn’t like you either. Now I accept you and want to thank you for all the wonderful smells you have given me over the years. 

 

To my round tummy. I always wanted a flat stomach. So many sit-ups to make to make you disappear. Now I have some small rolls with stretch marks. So, thank you for expanding to accommodate each of one my beautiful daughters. What a precious gift to me. 

 

Then to my whole body, for all that Yo-Yo dieting I put you through. I apologize for making you afraid if you had enough. From now on, I promise to eat healthy and exercise regularly. I will love and cherish you.

 

Love, 

Me

 

P.s. The scale is in the corner collecting dust. 

 

 

Dear God,

 

I truly am sorry for dissing your creation, my body. I have complained about it instead of being pleased, just as I am. 

 

Help me know deep in my heart that I am created in your image. And it is good! You know every inch of my body, including the number of hairs on my head. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

 

In your Holy Book, King Solomon cherishes his new wife’s body. He says her hair is like a flock of goats, her nose is like the tower of Lebanon, and her tummy is like a mound of wheat. Then he finally says, How beautiful you are my darling! 

 

She is just like me! 

 

Love,

Your daughter



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