Detaching From Desires

Author Unknown

Last week, I blogged about desires. We all have them. God puts healthy desires into our hearts, which draw us closer to him, ourselves, and others. We are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), created and given desires for relationship, work, service, rest, pleasure, and even fun.

Pause for a moment and reflect.

What are your desires for your relationship with God? 

For yourself?  For others?

For Work?    Service?     Rest?     Pleasure?     Fun?

What happens when your desires are not fulfilled?  Or perhaps you are still waiting, and God is not answering? Or relationships are not happening the way you expected?  And rest, pleasure, and fun are absent or seem out of reach? 

I had a desire to share my story of healing from sexual trauma. And yet I was scared. “What would people say?”  “What would people think?”  “Can I create a workbook that will help others heal?”  “How will I start a group?”   Much spinning in my head along with self-doubt.

Over time, with courage, determination and strength from God, I created Not Alone and started leading groups. With each group, my confidence grew, and I learned much from those women who attended.

Witnessing a shift in their relationship with God and with themselves brought me much joy. I held this close to my heart since each time I started a new group, that spinning in my head would start up again. “Will women sign up?”  “Is this good enough?”  “Am I doing the right thing?”  Doubt often sabotaged my genuine desire to accompany others.

Something that has helped me is detachment or unhooking from desires.  I have them. My desires are good. I want them. I hold them before God.

I do my part…I am not passive. Then I wait and unhook from the outcome.

I don’t have them in a tight-fisted grip. I don’t control others or even God to get these desires met. I have learned not to let external energy or unmet desires define me. 

Even when my desires are met, I have learned to unhook from them since some relationships and things are temporary or seasonal in life. Instead, I express gratitude for the joy these bring, however long it may be.

Although unhooking is not easy and at times I still try to hold on, one thing I can honestly say: Even though I may be disappointed, angry, or even sad, I do not let unmet desires affect my worth.  

Jesus was the most unhooked person I know.

On earth, He desired all people to accept his gift of salvation.

He moved on when they did not.

He desired the nine lepers to thank him for the healing. He did not pout or complain when they did not. He healed them anyway.

He loved serving God, whether it was feeding 5,000 or healing one demon-possessed man in the cemetery. He was totally unhooked from the ego-driven numbers game.

He desired his disciples to stay awake with him in the garden and be there for him during the worst time in his life. He did not hold a grudge or shame them when they did not.

He didn’t need outside validation. He didn’t surrender his power or worth to the religious leaders at the time to get their approval.

He knew who he was and what he was called to do. He desired to do the will of God the Father above all else.

He had desires as a human, just as we do. Yet he was able to detach from unmet desires. That cup in the garden was not taken away. He can help you, and I do the same. The result?

Peace that surpasses understanding.

God sees the finished puzzle or masterpiece. We don’t see the whole finished picture. You and I are a small piece but valuable. I would notice that missing piece.

When you learn how to hold and detach from your desires, the pain or worry in waiting dissipates. Your self-worth is strong, saying you are worth these desires and yet need to wait…need to trust God. Whatever happens, you are enough. Pursue your desires and trust God with the outcome.

God could be saying, “I have something better for you.”

Right now, I am waiting, hoping, and trusting God to start two new Not Alone Groups and hopefully  raise up new leaders for the future.  I am holding my desire before God and trusting him with the outcome.