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Our Little Girl

Writer's picture: annerichardson58annerichardson58

Updated: 7 days ago




Last Monday at Phasing Out of Trauma meeting, Karen, retired MFT, led us in a practice engaging our little girl. This is like part-work or IFS (Internal Family Systems) if any of you are familiar with that.

 

We know that when something triggers us, we can feel like the original painful or hurtful event is happening all over again. Trauma is stored in the brain and in the body. Our younger self is reacting to the current event. For example, if a child is told they are bad or stupid, shame creates a sense of not being good enough. Rejection of any kind can poke that old wound so as adults, we may become fearful and need to protect ourselves. Yet sometimes what we think is a rejection of us isn’t really that at all. Someone frowned at us. Someone didn’t invite us to the party. Someone did text back. And the list goes on.

 

When we are grounded as the Beloved child of God, we may feel hurt when someone doesn’t invite us to the party. But it doesn’t mean we are bad or not good enough. Besides, they are missing out of our presence! 

 

Here is the practice Karen shared.  I suggest recording it (Don’t criticize how your voice sounds).

Then slowly play it back, pausing as you need to.  If not, then read one question, pause, and listen to Christ. Give enough time between each question to hear from the Lord. Then journal what you heard.  You may want to do this with a safe, trusted person.

 

 

  • Get comfortable in your chair. With feet on the floor, close your eyes.  Take a few deep breaths. Sink into the chair as if you are sinking into Christ’s love. 

 

  • Imagine you are in a safe, happy place. Take a moment to name what you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.  Feel the joy this place offers.

 

  • Imagine Jesus is with you. Perhaps you are sitting or walking.  He is happy to be with you. Feel his acceptance and love. No judgement here at all.

 

  • Now you see a little girl come towards you. You ask Jesus, “Who is she?” He gently replies, “She is you.”

 

Slowly ponder these questions. Write down your answers after a few minutes or wait until the end.

 

  • How does this little girl feel about you?

  • How does she feel about Jesus?

  • What does she need from both of you to feel safe and secure?

  •  Ask her what she needs?  Does she need a hug? Be held?

 

  • Here Jesus says to her, “I know your pain, your loneliness, fear, and anger. I see your struggles. I have always been there and will be there for you. I will always be with you and never leave you.”

 

  • Now Jesus turns to the adult you. He says, “I want you to love her as I do. We can heal her together. I want you to listen to her needs and validate her.

 

  • Observe the little girl’s body language. What do you see?

 

  • What is she feeling right now? 

 

  • What are you feeling about this conversation?

 

  • Imagine the three of you embracing. Assure her that you love and accept her. You see her wounds, but you can stitch them up with Jesus. You are going to take care of her and yourself from now on. 

 

  • Soak in God’s love for you and your little girl. When you are ready, come back to the present and open your eyes. Journal your experience.

 

There were pools of tears at this meeting.

 

And hope for stitching our wounds.



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